Back to Good

A few weeks ago, I spent two hours with Rob Thomas.   He was there for me almost ten years ago, and he spoke to me once more on this standard Tuesday evening.  I know people love him as the front man to Matchbox 20.  Others did not know about him until his musical mischief smoothing around with Santana.  I just love him as the individual—specifically, the one who can sing a melancholy ballad with angst and hope that resonates with me on most days.

I found him after the release of his first solo gig in 2005.  Mom passed away the previous December, and I was needing something.  Anything, really.  Then, one quiet evening, with Mimi Pug by my side, I found it.  I found my solace.

And when the hour is upon us and our beauty surely gone
No, you will not be forgotten and you will not be alone
No, you will not be alone

And when the day has all but ended and our echo starts to fade
No, you will not be alone then and you will not be afraid
No, you will not be afraid

And when the fog has finally lifted from my cold and tired brow
No, I will not leave you crying, no, I will not let you down
No, I will not let you down and I will not let you down

I swear it was my story, our story.  Mom and me.  I felt it with every goosebump, tear and bone in my body.  I played the CD until it was too stratched to be played.   On this night, he sat down at the piano, played slowly and sung from the soul.  There were six rows ahead of me, and I only saw him.  As I listened to the song, however, I only thought about the other GENTLEman in my life.  The one who is the keeper of my giggles, the catalyst to all-things-fun at home and the rock steady. 

Jeremy stayed home with the girls so that I could go.  This is what he does.  He figures out what is meaningful to me, and he makes it happen.  With a wedding in the same week, it was not kind to the girls (specifically Ruby) to be away from home two days in one week.  As I was propelled back to 2005, my brain quickly went through all that has happened:

Blθθdbath θf Emθtiθns After Mθm’s Passing

Mθving Back tθ Austin

New Jθb

Guilt θf Nθt Being with Dad

Planning a Wedding as a Nθn-Wedding-Planning Persθn

Pregnancy
Dad’s Strθke

Pregnancy, Again

New Jθb

Pack Up and Sell Hθuse

Find a Hθuse in Freakin’ Austin

Dad Mθves In

New Jθb

_________________________________________

Jeremy M. Palafθx

So, he has been the common denominator.  He carried me through every single bit of it—the awesome, the okay, the shitty and the real-shitty I don’t ever tell anyone but him.  I try to put good in the world, and he surely is the great, the really-awesome, that comes back.  He brings me back to good, always.